Like Ahab, I Must Find My White Whale
Aye, aye! It was that accursed white whale that razed me; made a poor pegging lubber of me for ever and a day!... I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give him up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men!
One of the greatest tales of all-time, Moby Dick depicts many different forms of symbolism. From dark vs. light to the universe as a whole, Moby Dick can be construed almost as much as The Bible.
In what way it speaks to the reader is most important, though. Although it's pretty apparent that there is quite the religious undertone, this reads entirely different to anyone who works in the media industry.
Some interpretations point out that Captain Ahab, the protagonist in the story, is insistent on getting his white whale, Moby Dick. It is something that eludes him, which causes him to fixate on getting it, even though it seems bleak that it will ever happen. This has created the term The White Whale, which many media personalities use to describe a certain person that they can't seem to pin down for an interview.
Anyone who listens to The Morning After has heard host Tim McKernan reference this many times for his podcast, The Tim McKernan Show. One that he references is former St. Louis Rams head coach, Jeff Fisher.
For me, it's an obvious person to those who know me. It's my childhood idol and the only sports figure whose career I followed all throughout: Hockey Hall of Fame superstar Chris Pronger.
Sure, there are non sports-related people of which I would love to spend some time. Anderson Cooper, Michael J. Fox and Bob Woodward are just the tip of the iceberg. But let's be honest, here: given my career path and current profession, Pronger is the only one that is seemingly reachable.
I first embarked on my journey during the 2014-15 NHL season. As a member of the Blues' media, I found myself sitting next to Pronger in the press box numerous times, as he was with the Department of Player Safety at the time. Since he lives in St. Louis, the league ensured he had a seat at Blues games often. My seat, luckily enough, was right next to his. We talked a little bit in that time, but it was rarely nothing more than exchanging pleasantries. The question for an interview never presented itself. Admittedly, it was because I never presented it.
When I decided to end my involvement with Blues media, I set sail one more time to finally capture the elusive whale. Through my various dealings with the NHL, I made acquaintances with someone in the league's media relations department. I reached out to her, told her my situation, and asked if I could be set up with Pronger to write one last story as a member of the media. She said she would pass it along to the man himself.
Meanwhile, my personal life had taken a strange turn. My father had just entered the hospital after having extreme shortness of breath and issues staying awake. I went to work the day after he was admitted on a few minutes of sleep. I left my laptop and media notes in my dad's hospital room. Of course, this was the day I received a call marked as "unavailable." After answering, here's how the conversation went:
"Hi, is this Jeff?"
"Yes."
"This is Chris Pronger. You available for that interview you wanted with me?"
(after many moments of silence)
"Thank you for calling. This is a crazy day for me and I deeply apologize, but is there any way we can do this another time? I'm having a family crisis. Even in an hour or two would be fine."
"Sure, no problem. I can call you back later today or tomorrow morning."
I left work, headed to the hospital, visited with my dad for a few minutes, grabbed my bag and headed home. I even called my old contact at KSDK Newschannel 5 to get approval for a story on their sports site.
I waited that night. I worked from home the next day. I never received a call again.
There's absolutely no ill will toward Pronger for this. It was an unfortunate circumstance as any media member would tell you to be ready for that call at all times. I'm sure the former Blues captain simply forgot about calling me back, as someone of his fame receives interview requests nearly every day (keep in mind, he was just a few weeks away from being named a 2015 Hockey Hall of Fame inductee, as well).
The White Whale got away. I figured that leaving the media meant my chances of getting Pronger to sit down with me were slim to none.
As other things in my life spiraled, this became a forgettable story in the grand scheme of things. My father was diagnosed with Myelodysplasia and Myelofibrosis (two rare forms of Leukemia) shortly after and the interview mess became irrelevant.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I saw that a local sports retail store, Fan Cave Sports, had an autograph signing with Mr. Pronger. A VIP ticket landed me a picture and an autograph with the special guest. I decided that if I would ever have another chance at sitting down with my White Whale, it would be this. I grabbed one of my podcast business cards, jotted down my personal number and email address on the back and headed to the event.
Along with my friend Scott, I attended the event with a ticket labeled "VIP guest." We waited in line for about 5 minutes after Pronger arrived and I walked up to greet him. He shook my hand, snapped the picture with me and began signing the picture I brought. This was my chance.
I told him that he had called the day my late father had gone into the hospital and we never hooked back up. I told him that even though I'm no longer with KSDK, I'd still like to complete the interview. He took my business card with a smile, stuck it in his back pocket and said, "Sure. I may be giving you a call."
So now, I wait.
After all the turmoil with my father, missing my interview with Pronger seemed like a minor problem. Even to this day, I don't blame myself for the occurrence, as there were a multitude of other worries in my life that needed my attention.
Now, though, feeling like it's a possibility again, that anxiety has returned to get it done. It's a goal again. It almost feels like a life quest.
Granted, my end goal is woefully different from Ahab's: I want to speak with my White Whale. I want to find out the inner workings of him and let the masses see a side of him that maybe they haven't seen. Ahab's is ... well, to end the whale's life.
Although Ahab is driven by hate and loathing for the whale, I do feel that some of his last words do relate to my quest.
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
- Herman Melville, Moby-Dick, or, The Whale; Chapter XXXVI
In what way it speaks to the reader is most important, though. Although it's pretty apparent that there is quite the religious undertone, this reads entirely different to anyone who works in the media industry.
Some interpretations point out that Captain Ahab, the protagonist in the story, is insistent on getting his white whale, Moby Dick. It is something that eludes him, which causes him to fixate on getting it, even though it seems bleak that it will ever happen. This has created the term The White Whale, which many media personalities use to describe a certain person that they can't seem to pin down for an interview.
Anyone who listens to The Morning After has heard host Tim McKernan reference this many times for his podcast, The Tim McKernan Show. One that he references is former St. Louis Rams head coach, Jeff Fisher.
For me, it's an obvious person to those who know me. It's my childhood idol and the only sports figure whose career I followed all throughout: Hockey Hall of Fame superstar Chris Pronger.
Sure, there are non sports-related people of which I would love to spend some time. Anderson Cooper, Michael J. Fox and Bob Woodward are just the tip of the iceberg. But let's be honest, here: given my career path and current profession, Pronger is the only one that is seemingly reachable.
I first embarked on my journey during the 2014-15 NHL season. As a member of the Blues' media, I found myself sitting next to Pronger in the press box numerous times, as he was with the Department of Player Safety at the time. Since he lives in St. Louis, the league ensured he had a seat at Blues games often. My seat, luckily enough, was right next to his. We talked a little bit in that time, but it was rarely nothing more than exchanging pleasantries. The question for an interview never presented itself. Admittedly, it was because I never presented it.
When I decided to end my involvement with Blues media, I set sail one more time to finally capture the elusive whale. Through my various dealings with the NHL, I made acquaintances with someone in the league's media relations department. I reached out to her, told her my situation, and asked if I could be set up with Pronger to write one last story as a member of the media. She said she would pass it along to the man himself.
Meanwhile, my personal life had taken a strange turn. My father had just entered the hospital after having extreme shortness of breath and issues staying awake. I went to work the day after he was admitted on a few minutes of sleep. I left my laptop and media notes in my dad's hospital room. Of course, this was the day I received a call marked as "unavailable." After answering, here's how the conversation went:
"Hi, is this Jeff?"
"Yes."
"This is Chris Pronger. You available for that interview you wanted with me?"
(after many moments of silence)
"Thank you for calling. This is a crazy day for me and I deeply apologize, but is there any way we can do this another time? I'm having a family crisis. Even in an hour or two would be fine."
"Sure, no problem. I can call you back later today or tomorrow morning."
 |
| Me rocking a Pronger jersey for my '04 senior picture |
I waited that night. I worked from home the next day. I never received a call again.
There's absolutely no ill will toward Pronger for this. It was an unfortunate circumstance as any media member would tell you to be ready for that call at all times. I'm sure the former Blues captain simply forgot about calling me back, as someone of his fame receives interview requests nearly every day (keep in mind, he was just a few weeks away from being named a 2015 Hockey Hall of Fame inductee, as well).
The White Whale got away. I figured that leaving the media meant my chances of getting Pronger to sit down with me were slim to none.
As other things in my life spiraled, this became a forgettable story in the grand scheme of things. My father was diagnosed with Myelodysplasia and Myelofibrosis (two rare forms of Leukemia) shortly after and the interview mess became irrelevant.
 |
| Meeting Chris Pronger on October 26, 2019 |
Along with my friend Scott, I attended the event with a ticket labeled "VIP guest." We waited in line for about 5 minutes after Pronger arrived and I walked up to greet him. He shook my hand, snapped the picture with me and began signing the picture I brought. This was my chance.
I told him that he had called the day my late father had gone into the hospital and we never hooked back up. I told him that even though I'm no longer with KSDK, I'd still like to complete the interview. He took my business card with a smile, stuck it in his back pocket and said, "Sure. I may be giving you a call."
So now, I wait.
After all the turmoil with my father, missing my interview with Pronger seemed like a minor problem. Even to this day, I don't blame myself for the occurrence, as there were a multitude of other worries in my life that needed my attention.
Now, though, feeling like it's a possibility again, that anxiety has returned to get it done. It's a goal again. It almost feels like a life quest.
Granted, my end goal is woefully different from Ahab's: I want to speak with my White Whale. I want to find out the inner workings of him and let the masses see a side of him that maybe they haven't seen. Ahab's is ... well, to end the whale's life.
Although Ahab is driven by hate and loathing for the whale, I do feel that some of his last words do relate to my quest.
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
- Herman Melville, Moby-Dick, or, The Whale; Chapter CXXXV
The drive to complete his goal consumes Ahab. He must accomplish his task, even if it means the end of him.
This is obviously a dramatic interpretation of my story, but, as someone who has worked in the media field, it is easy to allow this type of goal to be an all-consuming thought. It's always in the back of the mind until the end goal is completed.
Moby-Dick, or The Whale ends in a somber, negative tone. Let's hope my story ends in triumph.
Moby-Dick, or The Whale ends in a somber, negative tone. Let's hope my story ends in triumph.
Comments
Post a Comment